Recently in mentoring Category

It's been a bit since I've had something to say. More than anything, I've been tired. The family moved into a new house, both my wife and I got sick, and my son...well...he continued on with his life of awesomeness. But I digress.

It's annual review time again! Like every year before this, I struggled to fill out my portion of the review. It used to be an issue of an inability to (a) remember what the hell I did the last year, (b) not focus on my failings, and (c) not come across as an arrogant asshole. Now, there's still the issue of remembering what I did, but I find myself walking the thin line of honesty and self-promotion. I've never been a self-promoter. Not my style. But over the last year, I've worked towards being able to allow myself to take credit for my success, and also take accountability for my mistakes. And doing so, I've made very few mistakes.

Isn't that where it's at? I mean, no one likes to admit they're wrong. But if you don't ever do it, you'll never see why you're making mistakes, and you'll never correct the behavior to move forward.

Each of my reviews I've had since taking my current position have gone really well. This one is no different. The raises have been sizable (esp. considering the current market), and more importantly, the feedback and communication has been transparent. I know where I am, I know what my boss thinks of me, and we are working together. It's a good feeling to know that we're all on the same page.

Recently, I had a conversation with a good friend of mine who recently got an entry-level position with the company I work for (my old department, specifically). He's a few years younger than I am, but we have a lot in common. We both grew up in the same suburban wasteland. Both our parents are well educated and somewhat eccentric. We like a lot of the same music, etc. We've had a lot of conversations recently, and my wife made the comment that I was acting as a mentor to him. Me? A mentor? Are you kidding me? But she's right. I've been mentoring him. And it's something that has come naturally for me, which is somewhat odd. But after thinking about it, I realized why it was working:

• We have common experience

Since we already have a lot in common, my advice and experience is relevant. Some of the mentor experiences I've heard others having seemed to lack that. While experiencing new cultures and backgrounds is obviously important, in the world of mentoring it seems like a common ground is more beneficial. Since our backgrounds are so similar, there's a good chance that our reactions and interpretations to situations will be the same as well. And they have been.

• I have credibility

Since I've done the job that he's currently doing, I have first-hand knowledge and the technical background involved in the position. I also know the people involved. So when he talks about something going on within the department or in his personal life, there's a good chance I've already gone through it. When I am hearing advice from people (usually unrequested, but that's another issue), I see what experience they have. Would you take marriage advice from someone who's single? How guitar lessons from someone who's never played? Doubtful. Hypothetical experience or advice is a waste of everyone's time.

• I'm willing to listen

Mentoring, like any other relationship, needs to be a two-way street. Just like no one likes to be the friend that everyone dumps their problems on, no one wants to be told what to do and have it wrapped up in the idea of 'mentoring'. When we talk about things, whether it be business or personal, I stop and put my ego aside and listen to what he has to say.

• I'm not a guru

I don't have all the answers. I don't even pretend to. I'm lucky that I'll admit when I don't know what I am doing, or if I have no experience. I've been blessed to have a lot of different life experience so far (more than most my age), but I know that it's still limited. And that's OK. So, at the end of the day, we're friends first and foremost. And we're just as likely to talk about the latest Bad Religion re-issues and whatever garage band he's playing in as we are to talk about anything else. Because all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, right?