Coming in under the wire, this is my contribution to Holly’s Mentor Roundtables post

Have you failed in life? No? Then you have nothing to teach me. It’s just that simple. In my life and my career, the biggest gains in my life have come from the result of a huge, drastic failure. Failure to finish college. Failure to manage my vices. Failure at my first stab at a career. All of these things were monumental failures. And you know what? I learned more from those than anything else. And that’s what I have to offer. My failure. My experience.

So what do you have to offer? What have you failed at? Because if you haven’t failed, you haven’t been tested. It’s easy to give mentoring advice when you don’t know what happens when the shit hits the fan. How’d you deal with it? What was the fallout? How did you grow?

Because that’s what I would want. Pain is learning.

So stop writing like you are.

We’ve all seen the posts. A list for this, a top-ten for that, a how-to about everything and anything. You’ll usually get some comments saying how great the advice is, or how it’s timely to that person’s situation at that given moment, or maybe it reminds them of something that happened in their life a while back.

And it’s all bullshit. So stop it.

I’m not here to say that you shouldn’t write about personal experience. Most bloggers do. Hell, it’s the most honest thing you can write about (assuming you’re telling the truth, but that’s another post for another day). But please, after you have shared, stop typing and hit publish. Leave out that last paragraph where you’re telling me how that translates into something I am supposed to do with my life. Because you know what? It doesn’t.

Here’s the thing: my life is not your life. There’s a distinct possibility that, while there may be similarities, we have way more differences about us. And that is a GOOD thing. It’s what makes the world worth living. After all, if we were all alike, we’d probably have killed off the human race out of sheer boredom.

But here is where it gets interesting. There are now bloggers out there making a name for themselves handing out advice that they have no fucking business giving. At all. Been freelancing for a month? Don’t tell me how to run a successful business. Been married for a year? The advice better stop at 365 days worth of experience. Think having a dog gives you the wisdom to tell me about my son? Go die in a fire instead.

People have the need to feel important. I get that. But stick to what you know. There’s a reason I don’t answer questions about things I don’t know. I know a little about a lot, a lot about a few things, and everything about nothing whatsoever. And that doesn’t make me less of a person. It makes me a bit more normal.

I can safely assume that a good number of you who read this blog know about Brazen Careerist. So I don’t need to tell you that they’ve re-launched the site, moving away from a blog-focused site into a robust social networking tool for career-minded Millennials to advance, promote, and further themselves in an ever-tighting job market. (If you don’t know about it…well…now you do. So get on it.) Being on the older side of the “Gen-Y” spectrum, I’ve seen an evolution in how folks get hired, fired, and advanced within a company. Lance Haun over at YourHRGuy.com did a fantastic post on it, so I won’t waste anyone’s time. Considering I started my corporate career over 10 years ago, it’s safe to say that a lot of my youthful transgressions that would have otherwise kept me from being employable were fortunately done before everyone’s life was on-line.

So what’s it all about, then? Why bother connecting with folks when I’ve got a job? Simple. There is nothing static about your career anymore. Not yours, not mine. Take my own path for example.

Intern → Accountant → Chef → Accountant → Money Manager → ???

I put the ??? at the end of that because I have no idea what’s coming next. As some of you may know, I am leaving my position (and the salary) at the end of the year to go back to school full-time and finish my degree. My goal? Information Systems Management. In other words, something completely unrelated to any of my previous jobs.

So what does Brazen Careerist have to do with this? Everything. I’ve been doing quite a bit of freelance work in the last few months, with the intention of having that supplement my lack of income once I am back in school. I figured it would take 6-12 months to build up some steady business. How long did it take? 4 weeks. Why? Because of places like Brazen Careerist, I was able to connect with people that I otherwise wouldn’t have had the pleasure (or disdain) to meet. It’s been a melting pot of politics, technology, honest debate, and forward-looking people. People that are not easily found.

And seeing many of their success stories, I can be confident in leaving one career to start on another.

I admit, this blog has been somewhat quiet as of late. I’ve got a few drafts in the works, but they just aren’t quite ready for prime-time yet. Also, I’ve been gearing up for a big change that’s on the horizon (more information to come). In addition, I’ve been working behind the scenes with Jun Loayza and the Viralogy.com team on their new project: Viralogy Themes.

You can read all about it here.

(So does this mean I’m also “living the start-up life”?)

If you listen to some people, you’d think that social media is the elixir that’ll save the world, or at least corporate America. It’s also the A-#1 place to “brand” yourself and network, haven’t you heard? Forget the old ideas like “meeting people” and “talking to work associates”, just hop on-line, throw a few interests up, connect with the Chris Brogans of the world, get a nice head shot, and viola! your brand is complete!

Companies that “get it” allow and encourage things like Facebook at the office. Twitter is replacing email and other mediums as the go-to source for news and information. Sure it is. It’s also some of the dumbest, intellectually devoid garbage you’ll see in your life.

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I promise I’m not dead, nor have I given up on this blog. Just been quite busy as of late, and writing has taken a back seat to things like “work” and “family”. There will be new posts soon, I promise.

I was recently interviewed by the very Jun Loayza as part of the Awesome Bloggers series he’s doing over at Viralogy. I definitely have a face for radio, that’s for sure.

You can check out the original here.

When I was young, my father told me a few things. One of them was to be careful about offering unsolicited advice, since often times I won’t know the whole story. And that’s been true to this day.

Recently, there was a dust-up over a post regarding leaving a job and “burning bridges”. One post spawned numerous others. And I did my part, commenting on a few with my experience regarding the situation. As it often times happens, people disagreed, and thus ensued a back and forth of right and wrong, proper blogging etiquette, and so on. Granted, none of that really matters to me, as I feel people are allowed to do whatever they want with their lives, both on-line and off. And deal with the rewards or consequences that come along with it. Such is life. But another underlying theme arose: what responsibility does one have when giving advice? That thought gave me a “lightbulb” moment, in regards to my writing. While I have a good amount of experience or advice, I’m not really comfortable just putting it out there at will. Why? Because you didn’t ask.

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Due to some server issues, and the overall desire to change platforms, this is the new version of Restless Like Me. You can find the old posts (until I can get the old database imported) at restlesslikeme.com/old

actually getting a raise. When my wife began her career as a prosecutor for the state attorney’s office, I immediately got a $300 dollar raise. Now, I’m not a lawyer, nor do I work for the state. So why did I get a raise?

Heath insurance. Hers is free for the family, whereas mine was $300 a month. I am a real fortunate guy. For starters, the $300 a month was lower
than many people I know in the area, so I was already ahead to begin
with. And heck, I actually had a job that offered it, so I was golden. As I said, I’m fortunate.

My friend Kimi isn’t so fortunate.

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