career: November 2007 Archives

In catching up on the last few years of blog reading that I haven't been doing (damn you online comics and ESPN!), I came across another good post from Modite about being yourself, and being accountable for it. But what if "you" isn't acceptable for the mainstream? It's one thing to be a little eccentric, but what about those of us who have crossed some of society's lines? I've struggled with this on numerous levels.

If you were to see me at the office, I'd fall in with just about everyone else. And that's because I've made a very concerted effort to do so. The green mohawk is a thing of the past. None of my shirts have explicit remarks or ideas plastered on them. My usual personal / casual look, although quite toned down (thanks to my wife shopping for me), it can still be a problem for some. When a woman from my office saw me at Home Depot one Saturday afternoon, she was literally shocked. After seeing someone with a nice shirt and tie for a year, seeing my tattoos can be somewhat of a confusing bit of information. I've gotten the "I had no idea you had those / were into that" response enough times that I just laugh about it now. But this isn't the small symbol on my arm. This is a few thousand dollars worth of ink. And I'm proud of it, dag nabbit! All it took was one lunch trip with a few co-workers for them to catch firsthand I like my music loud, and on the "aggressive" side. I used to embrace the punk-rock label. Now, while it's still as much a part of me as anything else, it's just not work-appropriate. So what did I do about it?

First off, I got over myself. While I may not have any issues with my tattoos, taste in music, or any other part of my personality, someone else might. And I'm no longer trying to purposely piss off the world (meet me at age 19, and you'd know what I am talking about). Also, I make sure my music isn't loud when I am pulling into the parking garage at work, so no one sees me as "that guy who listens to Alkaline Trio loud at 7 am". That's a label that, while accurate, I'd rather not have. So I make sure my music is lowered and my ink isn't visible. Second, I don't talk about parts of my personal life at work. When the "what did you do this weekend" question comes up, I will usually leave out parts that might give off the wrong impression about who I am. Even people my own age (many of whom have had a rather sterilized life, in my opinion) sometimes take my hobbies, personality, and tastes to be something they can't quite identify with. And that's ok. I do my tattoo artist's taxes for him, and walked him through how to incorporate. There's networking for you. Is this dishonest? Possibly. I've always followed the idea that a lie of omission is still a lie. But I'm not being paid for my personality. I'm being paid for the quality of my work. And until the majority of the world can see that a flaming skull on my chest doesn't mean I am any less qualified, I'll keep them covered. And keep getting them, for that matter.

One of my job duties is to review each account annually to make sure everything is where it should be. In going through the review, I need to see how the account is doing, ala gain / loss and rate of return. However, those numbers are just part of the equation. I mean, if I told you an account that has a year to date return of 3.5% is doing better than an account that has a 15.7% return, you'd look at me like I was an idiot. Or at least horrible in math. But those numbers, by themselves, are meaningless. What's required is benchmark comparison. Simply put, I compare the account to it's appropriate index. So, an account returning 3.5% can be doing great if the index only did 2%, and 15.7% can be severely underperforming if the comparable index returned 22%. The same is true for your career. I mean, what's progress without a comparison?

Take Rebecca Thorman for example. She's almost 4 years younger than I am, yet has accomplished quite a bit more. So have the guys over at Employee Evolution. But peel away at the outside, and you'll see why the comparison isn't accurate. They each went straight to college and graduated in 4 years. I didn't. I'm married and have children. They don't. The list goes on. Now, this isn't a post about sour grapes or complaining in any sort of way. But sometimes, when reading some of the writings and exploits of the Gen Y blogging crowd, you'd feel like you're woefully behind the curve. But are you really? Find your benchmark. Then compare. And remember, don't ever feel bad because someone else is doing better. Maybe there is something to learn from them.

I've been reading more and more blogs lately. In fact, I've even been reading ones that don't indulge or fuel my somewhat sick sense of humor. Modite is a good one. Penelope Trunk is a good read (although the idiots on Yahoo take great effort to bash her) Employee Evolution is one of them I read more and more. One of the underlying themes I keep seeing is this "change the face of business" mentality that most of the writers seem to have. Granted, a few of the comments seem to loathe these people (for reasons that elude me...but then again, I don't fight on the internet). And, for the most part, I'm all for the revolution. But there is one idea that I keep seeing and scratching my head about. Life decisions are important I couldn't disagree more. I've read how people are stressing about these things. Why waste the energy? I've made a lot of decisions. More bad than good, actually. But I've still got a good job (just promoted, to be exact. Window office and an "Associate Vice President" title to boot). My experience, albeit limited, has been that very few of my life altering decisions did have say in at all. Furthermore, I didn't even realize there was a decision to be made. Frankly, the ones I influenced have had almost zero impact in the grand scheme of things. I asked my wife to marry me...but she still had to say yes. While my wife and I decided we wanted a baby, we still had to go about it and let nature do the rest. My point is, I am responsible for the effort, not the outcome. Most of the things I do from waking up to going to sleep only affect a few basic things: my mood and my wallet. And frankly, life has a way of moving me where I'm supposed to go, whether I like it or not. So why not just go with the flow and see where you end up?

Modite's Rebecca Thorman (fast becoming one of my favorite reads) has a recent post about a speaker who, among other things, told them all be weird, and to think & dream big. It got me thinking about all that. I've heard that for a long time. So has most everyone else I know. But what defines your dreams? What's "big" to you? Is your dream to run a Fortune 500 company? To play the stand-up bass in a psychobilly band? To simply be happy and content, regardless of the situation? Well, all of these things have been a dream of mine at one time or another. And where I was in life defined those dreams. My job does not define who I am. Not at all. It didn't define me when I was a busboy in a local Chinese restaurant, it didn't when I was a line cook, and it still doesn't now that I wear a tie. Regardless, almost everyone I come in contact with has this uncontrollable urge to label me and put me into some sort of category. At the office, it's usually the "young guy". In the news, it's the "MTV Generation" or "Gen Y". Although, truth be told, I can't stand most popular music and wish most of the artists on MTV would leave and never return, nor do I really like a lot of people my own age.