Another State Of Mind

First off, I am blessed to have a fantastic group of friends, some of which I’ve had since elementary school. Also, I’ve lived in the same general area since I was 6, so there hasn’t been a lot of moving. In addition, I tend to naturally find people with similar interests and personalities, and make friends quite well. That being said, I’ve almost always worked a job with a large number of employees, whether it was the restaurants during high school and college, or the financial firm I am at now. So I’ve had the opportunity to make friends. And what have I always done? Made 1 or 2, played nice with the rest, and went about my business.

Human Resources is a critical, sometimes overlooked member of a large corporate setting. However, the larger the company, the more isolated they become. I know at my firm, HR weeds through all applicants, do an initial phone or sit-down interview, and then forwards on who they deem a ‘potential hire’ to the specific manager looking to fill the position. Only at that point does the manager get to even see their resume, and then can set up another interview. A long and drawn out process indeed. Not to mention, the bigger the department, the less likely they are to know the quirks about the people they manage.

Every job interview I’ve ever sat though has had the same basic questions, and I’ve usually given the same basic answers. Heck, there are books and college classes geared towards ‘nailing’ the interview. Not nearly as many classes in being a good friends. None of those questions go into any detail about you as a person, only you as a potential employee. And rightfully so. HR’s job is to find the best candidate for the position, not the best person for me to hang out with.

From what I’ve experienced, there seems to be a generational divide in how groups of friends are formed. For the aging boomer and Gen X crowd, the office appears to be a focal point of social interaction. And why not? Most of their time is spent there, and a lot of the time away from the office is spent with family. College is long-over, and while a reunion or occasional “friends weekend” is nice for catching up, they are few and far between. So friends are made based on similar (if not shallow) interests, and life goes on.

Now with Gen Y entering the workplace, we’re using various social networks and other on-line tools to stay in touch with friends that we’ve met along our various life journeys. Whether it’s a college roommate, someone you met on a road trip, or a fellow person from your on-line life, it’s easier and easier to stay in touch with the people you WANT to be friends with, and less of an issue making friends with those you don’t.

But what about those friends after work? Besides the occasional happy hour or weekend BBQ, it’s unlikely that there is any interaction. Any why not? It’s simple: the common bond is the office. Without it, there’s no reason to talk. After all, how many ‘work friends’ do you have that you’d actually be friends with, had you never been paired up together by HR?

Perfect example: I am having my annual Memorial Day BBQ. A big to-do each year, with about 30 or 40 people coming. How many from my department? Maybe 2. How many from the entire firm? 5, tops. Mind you, there are over 4000 employees there, and I’ve worked there 10 years.